You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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