Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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