Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
