Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
