we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
