i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
