A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
