When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
