Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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