Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
