I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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