On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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