someone get that fucking seahorse.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
