shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
How drunk are you?
Completed.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
