so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
