Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
