I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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