Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
