wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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