my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
