Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Every concussion has its silver lining
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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