it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
