I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Still dying that you shit outside
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize