This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
