How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
