I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize