he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
