the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Less talking, more tequila
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
