Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
