ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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