I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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