I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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