one might say we're banned from that church
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
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I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
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the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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