I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
