I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Randomize
