i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
