oh god the rape fog is back!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize