Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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