ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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