As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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