Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I think my moral compass just broke
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
