yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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