my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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