I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
