I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Sorry my hands just texted you
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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