We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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