it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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