How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
