her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
