Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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