I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
