She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
my poor anus
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
