guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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