Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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