question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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