i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
