I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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