Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize