How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
