It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
