we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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