she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize