I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
