So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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